Wednesday afternoon, National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre published a bizarre, paranoid screed on the Daily Caller outlining a series of wildly implausible scenarios in which (among other things) the police will cease to exist because of the deficit and al-Qaeda will provoke the government into stealing your guns. Here are the nine most absurd quotes from LaPierre’s piece:
1. Violent Latino Gangs Are Out To Get You: “Latin American drug gangs have invaded every city of significant size in the United States. Phoenix is already one of the kidnapping capitals of the world, and though the states on the U.S./Mexico border may be the first places in the nation to suffer from cartel violence, by no means are they the last.”
2. And They’re Streaming Over The Border: “The president flagrantly defies the 2006 federal law ordering the construction of a secure border fence along the entire Mexican border. So the border today remains porous not only to people seeking jobs in the U.S., but to criminals whose jobs are murder, rape, robbery and kidnapping.”
3. And So Is Al-Qaeda: “Ominously, the border also remains open to agents of al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations. Numerous intelligence sources have confirmed that foreign terrorists have identified the southern U.S. border as their path of entry into the country.”
4. And Obama Will Use Them As An Excuse To Take Your Guns: “A heinous act of mass murder—either by terrorists or by some psychotic who should have been locked up long ago—will be the pretext to unleash a tsunami of gun control.”
5. If You Want Gun Safety, You Want Civilization To Collapse: “After Hurricane Sandy, we saw the hellish world that the gun prohibitionists see as their utopia. Looters ran wild in south Brooklyn. There was no food, water or electricity. And if you wanted to walk several miles to get supplies, you better get back before dark, or you might not get home at all.”
6. Thanks To Obama, There Will Soon Be No Cops: “Meanwhile, President Obama is leading this country to financial ruin, borrowing over a trillion dollars a year for phony “stimulus” spending and other payoffs for his political cronies. Nobody knows if or when the fiscal collapse will come, but if the country is broke, there likely won’t be enough money to pay for police protection. And the American people know it.”
7. But The NRA Is Totally Not Paranoid: “Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Lone criminals. These are perils we are sure to face—not just maybe. It’s not paranoia to buy a gun. It’s survival. It’s responsible behavior, and it’s time we encourage law-abiding Americans to do just that.”
8. It’s Just That The Collapse Of Civilization Is Right Around The Corner: “We, the American people, clearly see the daunting forces we will undoubtedly face: terrorists, crime, drug gangs, the possibility of Euro-style debt riots, civil unrest or natural disaster.”
9. And We Shall Overcome: “We [the NRA] are the largest civil rights organization in the world.”
LaPierre’s rant after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary was of a similar tenor.
Wayne Lapierre is an insane cocksucking bitch who masturbates to images of guns.